6 Things About Youth Sports I Didn't Really Understand Until My Kids Started Playing

I thought I knew a lot about youth sports. I played at a pretty high level. I coached. I mentored kids. But once I became a parent and my kids started playing, I got to see just how much I had to learn.

1. The car ride home is an opportunity. For all of us.

It’s easy to talk too much. To fill the silence with advice or correction. What I’ve learned is that my first words after a game often reveal more about me than about my kid.

Most of the time they don't need or want a postgame breakdown. Sometimes they just need silence or to listen to a song they like. Try not to overcomplicate the minutes right after the game ends.

2. Playing time isn’t always about fairness.

I used to think if a kid worked hard, they’d play. But now I see how many factors go into those decisions. Skill, team chemistry, game flow, even coach comfort level. Sometimes pre-existing parent/coach relationships. It doesn’t always feel fair, but it’s usually not personal.

3. Most coaches are doing the best they can.

Even the ones who yell too much. Even the ones who miss stuff. Especially the volunteers. I’ve coached, and I still forget how much noise comes with it. It’s not easy managing a group of kids, all the stuff that comes from the league, and a bunch of parents...who all come with their own personalities. I try to give more grace than I used to.

4. Kids feel pressure differently than we do.

What feels “too intense” to me might feel normal to them. I want to protect my kids from burnout, but I’ve learned to ask instead of assume. Sometimes the pressure is mine. Not theirs.

5. You can't coach your kid through a slump at the dinner table.

They know when they missed the shot. Or struck out. Or got benched. They don’t need a second coach. They need a parent who’s calm and consistent, even when they’re not. Sometimes that means saying nothing at all.

6. All of the growth that actually matters doesn't show up on the box score.

They’re becoming more resilient. More coachable. More aware of how to lead or follow or stay steady when things don’t go their way. You don't find any of that stuff on the stat sheet, but it’s happening.