How Do You Talk To God? And How Do You Know If He’s Speaking To You?

The second big question my son asked me in the car that day was this one.

Right after, “How am I supposed to believe this,” he followed it with, “Does God really know what I’m thinking all the time?”

I remember sitting there in the front seat thinking, I have no idea how to explain any of this. And if I can’t explain it to my own kid, what does that say about where I am in my own faith?

Without realizing until Tommy actually verbalized it, I've been wondering the same thing for most of my life too.

How do you talk to God?

How do you know if He is speaking to you?

Does He actually know what you are thinking?

I used to assume people who believed had some secret channel I didn’t have. Some inner certainty or direct line. I figured if I didn’t hear something loud and clear, I must be doing it wrong or I didn't believe enough.

Now I am learning that the Bible is much more nuanced in how it addresses this question.

There are a lot of real people with real struggles trying to figure this exact thing out in real time. Some of them seem like they had a direct line to God. Others seem just as unsure as I've been my whole life.

Here is what stands out when you look at the parts of the story we have covered so far.

People talked to God in all kinds of ways

Moses basically argued with God. He said he wasn’t the right guy to lead anything. Later he said he could not carry the people anymore because he was worn out. God didn’t strike him down. God answered him.

David did not clean up his prayers. His psalms read like journal entries. Some days he trusted deeply. Some days he was furious or afraid or confused.

Samuel heard God as a kid. A quiet voice calling his name in the night. It was unexpected and simple.

And then there is Ruth, where nobody hears God speak at all. The story moves forward through loyalty, kindness, hard choices, commitment. God is at work in the background. Not obvious but still present.

Those four alone cover most of what people experience today. Sometimes God feels close. Sometimes He feels quiet. Sometimes you talk and you are not sure what you are hearing back. Sometimes the clarity only shows up later, after you act.

So how do you actually talk to God?

There is definitely no secret formula. I wish there were. But here is the simplest version of what the Bible shows, at least as far as I understand it.

1. Talk to God the same way you talk to anyone you trust. Honestly. Not fancy. Not formal. Not impressive. The tone of your voice is not the point. What you actually mean is.

   
   

2. Say what is real, not what sounds religious. If you doubt, say it. If you are angry, say it. If you are grateful, say it. If you have no idea what you believe, start there.

   
   

3. You don’t need to fill the silence. Sometimes you talk. Sometimes you think. Sometimes you sit with the question.

   
   

A priest or a pastor or a learned Biblical scholar may disagree and that is totally fine...I certainly don't claim to be any of those and never will be. But, to me, all of the above is how I pray, with a lot of the Lord's prayer mixed in! (We'll get to that one in the Gospels and the Sermon on the Mount...)

I hope I'm doing it right!

How do you know if God is speaking to you?

Again, there is no single, easy answer. But the Bible does give patterns.

1. Sometimes God speaks through words in Scripture that hit you differently than before. A line that lands harder than you expected. A story that feels uncomfortably personal. A parable that really makes you stop and think. We'll get there but this was the whole book of Ecclesiastes for me. I still haven't made sense of what it means for me and can't be sure that God was speaking to me while going through it...but I know it struck me in a way that has made me think about legacy like I've never even considered before.

   
   

2. Sometimes God speaks through clarity you didn’t have before. Not a voice. Not a vision. Just a sense that something is right or wrong or needs to change.

   
   

3. Sometimes God speaks through people around you. A conversation that hits exactly what you have been wrestling with. A reminder you didn’t expect. A question that opens something up. If I hadn't had those two deep, searching conversations at the industry event in Las Vegas, I would've just continued trying to figure out what I was going to do with this Bible project I'd been working on. Publish a book? Sit on it and do nothing? Instead, those conversations were the impetus for making this public now, in a forum that anyone else who's curious about the same things I am can participate with me. Was that God putting me in the right places to have those conversations? Can't be certain but they did make me take action.

   
   

4. Sometimes God is quiet. Not because He's not there. But because maybe you are supposed to take the next step with what you already know.

The Bible gives several examples of people trying to figure how or if God is speaking to them.

Think about Samuel. He was a kid sleeping in the next room when he heard someone calling his name. He assumed it was Eli. It took three tries and someone older telling him what to say before he understood that God might actually be speaking to him. Nothing dramatic. Just confusion, patience, and eventually clarity.

What about David before the fight with Goliath? There is no scene where God tells him, “Go do this.” What David has is a sense of clarity that everyone else seems to miss. The entire army freezes. David sees the situation differently and steps forward. If God was speaking to him, it was not through a voice. It was through perspective. Something inside him lined up in a way that made the next step obvious.

And then there is Ruth. God never speaks out loud in her story. There are no visions or instructions. But she keeps making steady, faithful decisions. Loyalty. Honesty. Caring for someone who has nothing. Her steps move the story forward in ways she could not see at the time.

Those three stories cover almost the entire range of experience. Sometimes the guidance feels clear. Sometimes it feels like a nudge. Sometimes it feels like quiet faithfulness with no sign at all.

None of them offer a formula. But they all show that God can work through confusion, through courage, and through simple everyday choices.

Does God really know what you are thinking?

Short answer. Yes, according to the Bible.

Not in a creepy surveillance way. More like the way a parent knows their kid’s mood before the kid even says anything.

If I was as smart as Tommy and thought about this stuff at his age, it would have freaked me out. But now it actually makes some sense. If God already knows what is going on inside me, then I do not have to hide anything when I pray. I am not revealing anything new. I am just finally saying out loud what is already true.

There might be some freedom in that.

The Bible gives example after example of God knowing what someone is thinking or feeling long before they can put it into words.

Hagar in the wilderness

Hagar did not pray a well-formed prayer. She was running, tired, hurt, and sitting alone in the desert trying to figure out her life. God found her and spoke to the exact fear she was carrying. She did not even have to say it. She later described God as “the One who sees me,” because that was exactly how it felt.

Sarah laughing to herself

When Abraham was told he would have a child in old age, Sarah overheard and laughed quietly to herself. Not out loud. Not publicly. Just a private reaction that came from disbelief. God responded to the thought she did not say. It was not about catching her. It was about showing her that her quiet doubt mattered enough to be addressed.

Hannah praying silently

When Hannah prayed for a child, she was so overwhelmed that her lips moved but no sound came out. The priest watching her thought she was drunk. But the prayer that no one else could hear was completely clear to God. He understood what she was saying long before she ever explained herself.

These stories show the same thing. God does not wait for polished words. He meets people in whatever they are actually thinking, even when the thoughts are messy, frustrated, or full of doubt.

So when Tommy asked, “Does God know what I’m thinking all the time?” the honest answer is yes.

But not as a threat.

More like someone who knows you well enough that you can finally stop pretending. If God knows the inside stuff already, then prayer becomes less about performing and more about being honest.

And maybe that is the point.

Reflection for you and for me

I am still figuring this out, obviously. Learning how to talk to God without worrying if I am doing it wrong. Trying to notice the small ways He might be speaking instead of waiting for something dramatic.

Some questions I actually ask myself:

Am I praying enough? I have no idea. There is no quota. But I still wonder.

How do I talk about this with Tommy and Marcie without being overbearing or weird or pushing them away? I do not want faith to feel like pressure. I want it to feel like something they can explore for themselves.

How do I know when I’m supposed to act on something I feel… and how do I know when I’m supposed to wait? I don’t. I honestly do not know. I am trying to trust that if I move in the wrong direction, God can nudge me back.

Those are the real questions in my head. Not the polished ones. I don't have answers tied up neatly in bows.

But I am trying. And maybe trying is the whole point right now.

If any part of this question hits something in your own life, or if you’ve ever wondered the same things, I would honestly love to hear it. If my pre-teen son is asking this out loud, maybe more of us should too.

We will pick up the story tomorrow as Israel moves into the books of Kings. That is where people really learn the hard way what happens when they stop paying attention to God.