What do We do When the Plan Changes?

There’s a pattern throughout the historical books that feels uncomfortably familiar.

People hope for something. Work for something. Picture a future. And then life breaks in a different direction.

And maybe that’s why these books have resonated with me the way they have.

Because that’s been my life, too.

When I was a kid, I knew what I wanted: professional baseball. I wanted to be Cal Ripken. Forget that I ended up 5'10" and not 6'4" and with a much worse arm, range and bat speed.

Technically, I made it. I was fortunate to be one of the very few who get paid to play a sport. But, it didn't end up the way the five or ten year old version of me pictured it. Not even close. I wasn't anywhere near Billy Ripken, let alone Cal.

Then I moved into business. A few up and down experiences before I found myself in sunny Southern California. Helping build a company I genuinely believed would be my forever job. I had this clean image of how it would all go. Stability, purpose, financial security, early retirement, family life in place.

It didn’t end that way.

Then I tried entrepreneurship. Put everything I had into it. And the result was…well…a huge, painful, life-altering shit sandwich. No other way to describe it. And not exactly how I pictured it going.

And now? I’m still figuring out the next chapter. It feels open. Unsettled. Hopeful most of the time, confusing here and there.

So when I look at these historical books, I’m not reading them as ancient stories. I’m reading them as people trying to figure out what to do when the life they imagined doesn’t materialize.

Almost nobody in these books gets the story they hoped for. Plans constantly change.

Joshua leads well, but never sees the people fully follow through. David becomes king, but his family fractures and haunts him. Solomon gets wisdom, wealth, peace. And still loses himself. Kings rise and fall. Nations split. Plans collapse. People rebuild from the rubble more than once.

Even Esther, the “success story," steps into a life she never asked for, carrying responsibilities she didn’t choose.

If there’s a theme here, it’s this:

Most people spend more time adjusting than achieving.

Always have.

The Bible doesn’t hide from that. It doesn’t clean it up. It doesn’t pretend that every dream turns out tidy and the path to get there is a simple one.

So what do you do when the thing you hoped for doesn’t happen?

All I can tell you is what I’m learning from these stories and from my own life:

You keep going, even if the road isn’t the one you wanted. You stay open to the idea that meaning might show up in places you didn’t plan for. You let the next chapter surprise you instead of trying to force it to look like the last one or the exact one you pictured it to be. You rebuild when you have to. You adjust your hope when it needs adjusting. You trust that loss and disappointment aren’t the end of the story. You take ownership of every piece of it.

And as I’ve gotten deeper into this faith exploration, I’m also learning to put this in God’s hands. Not to avoid responsibility or to blame Him if things don’t go the way I want them to, but to trust that I don’t have to see the whole road to take the next step. As I’ve mentioned one of the prayers I say a lot these days is from Mark 9:24: “I believe; help my unbelief.”

In these ancient stories Ezra and Nehemiah rebuilt a city from ruins. Esther showed courage she didn’t know she had. Ruth started over in a brand new place. David kept moving even when he fell flat on his face.

I’m trying to do the same today. In my small way.

Maybe that’s all any of us can do when the plan changes. Take the next step with whatever honesty and courage we have that day.

And when it comes to parenting, how do we handle disappointment when things don’t go the way our kids expect?

Check back in a couple weeks. There will definitely be some disappointment when it comes to what’s on Marcie’s Christmas list versus what’s actually under the tree. 😂😂

Seriously though, Karen’s instinct is to rush in and fix and soothe and protect. Mine is to let them sit with the disappointment and learn how to deal with it on their own. Both instincts are natural. And both are probably too extreme. So we try to find the middle ground.

And no, of course we’ve never argued about this. 🙄😩

We try our best. We try to help them understand that life isn’t a straight path to whatever they want. We try, as much as you can with a 9- and 11-year-old, to help them get comfortable making adjustments, because we know they’re going to need to make a lot of them as they grow up.

We try to create an environment where mistakes are allowed, even encouraged, as long as something is learned from them.

And we bring God into our home. Gently…we don’t want to bash them over the head with faith and turn them away. We’re trying to guide them toward their own curiosity and their own understanding.

Are we doing it right? I honestly don’t know. It feels like we’re on the right path but we’re aware that we’ll need to make adjustments along the way!

If any part of this hits close to home for you, I’d love to hear it.

If these ancient stories make anything clear, it’s that nobody figures this out alone.